It’s hard to comprehend, but Mom would’ve been 90 years old yesterday. From her childhood in Bangkok to a suburban life in North Jersey and retirement in southern California, she packed so much into a life of 87 years.

It’s often said you don’t know much about people until they die. There’s a lot of truth to that.
We knew her as “Mom” after all. She was the one who walked you to school on that first day of kindergarten; the one who would hug you when your 5-year-old ego was bruised and you sat pouting in the corner. She comforted you when that cold made your nose so full you were sure each breath would be your last. Mom also made sure you didn’t fail to practice your clarinet or violin for at least 30 minutes a day or wash the dishes after dinner.
In her life before us, she was the one who ran around Bangkok raising money and scavenging much-needed equipment for agencies serving the disabled. She worked in hospitals and hospices comforting the dying, and farang (foreigners) who were far from home. She had ties with the United Nations and the World Health Organization. She knew people with titles like “princess” and “dame.”
She decided to take leave of her international life, marry dad and raise a family in a modest New Jersey suburb.
When she and Dad thought it was safe for us to be latchkey kids, she studied for her nursing boards and went back to work. She was a good boss who loved her work.
Those were external things we never really saw as kids.
What we did see was a woman who valued wisdom above all and learned from every experience and every moment. She had a remarkable capacity for forgiveness and never lost her sense of sanook, that wonderful Thai quality of seeking the positive in everything.
We will never know the debt we owe her.


What a beautiful lady and what a wonderful tribute. I have always thought that if I could travel in time I would go back and hang with my parents before they became my parents so I could really get to know them. We owe so much to them.
I’m sorry you never got to know her. You two would’ve been fast friends!
Awesome tribute Mary.
Thanks Connie. It sort of caught me by surprise, her birthday and all.
This is a worthy tribute: good for you for writing it. I was in a similar mood a couple of months ago, on the day that would have been my father’s 100th birthday.
Thanks for commenting. It’s hard to write (concisely) about the life of someone who has meant so much. It’s even harder to wrap one’s head around a 90th or 100th birthday. (how can we be old enough to have had parent who would’ve been 90 or 100?) 🙂
Mary what a wonderful life she led. This tribute shows me where you get your energy and work ethic. I wish I could have met her. Wonderful tribute and pictures.
Thank you! You’re right that she is my role model! That I could be more like her.
Beautiful tribute to your Mom.
Thank you. She was a beautiful woman and very much missed.
She is beautiful. Love this.
anne
Thank you again. It’s so hard to write about a life so full.
A wonderful post – thank you for sharing.
Thanks for stopping by and reading. It was one of the hardest things to write … a whole life and its influence on your own.